AcceptanceThis is the last letter that I wrote.  It is my letter of acceptance.  These four letters helped me work through the grieving process of losing my husband.  Each played a very significant part in my healing.  I found that underneath the anger I was in so much pain.  I really loved him with all of my heart.  Hopefully this letter will portray that to you.

Ex-husband,

I’m not happy about this, but I do accept your choice.  I wish it could be different.  I pray and hope that God will lead you down a path that will bring you back to him.

I know that for now that path is a fork in the road where I can no longer stand beside you for your journey.  I would have stayed with you, but I think I would hae continud to keeping you from consequences that will bring you to him.

Although my will would have been different, God’s will is this, and I know it is so much more important that you find him than be with me.  I couldn’t save you.  I accept that, I pray daily that he will.  I don’t pray that he will keep you from suffering, but pray that in heaven I will look across a beautiful field of flowers and I will see you, and I will rejoice.  I will run to you and embrace you and be so happy that you made it.  Because I know you and I love you.  Not mine, but thine be done.

My goodbye song to you…..  “Say Something” by A GREAT BIG WORLD

Say something I’m giving up on you, I’ll be the one if you want me to, Anywhere I would have followed you, Say something I’m giving up on you.

And I am feeling so small, It was over my head, I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall, I’m still learning to love, Just starting to crawl

Say something I’m giving up on you, I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you,  Anywhere I would have followed you, Say something I’m giving up on you.

And I will swallow my pride, you’re the one that I love, and I’m saying goodbye

Say something I’m giving up on you, I’m sorry that I couldn’t get to you, Anywhere I would have followed you.

Say something I’m giving up on you, Say something I’m giving up on you, Say something

Love, Norma

The end was very painful.  Our relationship of 19 years ended just like that.  I just wanted him to say something, anything, but he just walked away as if 19 years had meant nothing to him.  I suffered through all the stages of grief several times.  I remember I couldn’t sleep, and when I did I would wake up from disturbing dreams.  I would roll over in bed and he really was gone, they weren’t dreams.  It is still painful thinking back on this now.  How much I yearned to hear him say something, just to end in silence.
Assignment for Healing: Write a letter of acceptance about a person or situation that left you in silence.  This letter is for you, you never have to share it if you don’t want to.  My letter brought me peace.  I pray that yours will do the same.  If you want someone to read your letter, but don’t feel that you have a safe place to share.  I would love to read it, send it to me at rootstoholdme.com
I believe in you!
Sending Love,
Norma