Performing a self-check is a five-minute activity that can make a big difference in trying to determine what you need. I recommend that you perform this exercise daily. It might even be helpful to do it several times a day as you love through all of the various roles you need to play. I especially like to verbalize these check-ins with a trusted friend. For some reason saying it out loud helps me process better. If you have a trusted friend that you can call, I recommend verbalizing it to them. If you don’t have a trusted friend doing this by yourself can still be helpful.
The check in has three areas:
In each of these areas explain how you are feeling with one word. The following is a word bank that might be helpful when you start this. Watch for secondary emotions. These emotions are used to cover up primary emotions. There is always an emotion deeper...sometimes you have to dig inside yourself until you can figure what emotion they are covering up.
The Secondary Emotions: (Indicates that there is something deeper)
- Shame (Embarrassment
- Anger (frustrations, annoyed, irritated, upset, resentful, hate)
Primary Emotions: (These are some of the emotions that you want to use for the check in: