Drama Triangle

I have played in the drama triangle most of my life. I still catch myself in it weekly with my kids or my husband.  You should not feel bad if you sometimes do this. I have yet to meet someone who hasn’t participated in this unhealthy way of communicating.  We do it when we have a need that is not being met.

“Sin is the result of deep and unmet needs.” ~Spencer W. Kimball

So this is what happens, something occurs and we have a need.  We are afraid to come out clearly and ask for what we need.  Our “child self” takes over and panics a little because we have a need and we don’t know how to get that need met.  Our “adult self” (rational thinking) needs to come back online before we can start thinking clearly and get out of the triangle.

The biggest problem with being in the drama triangle is that we end up feeling shame. We behave and act contrary to who we are and we end up feeling shame for our negative responses.

I created the following worksheets to help others understand the drama triangle.  I am not a therapist, I created them from what I remember from my counseling sessions and how I process through drama and get myself out of the triangle.  Feel free to use them if you find them beneficial.

Drama Triangle Worksheet- What is your Primary Role- by Norma

Drama Triangle Worksheet-Getting out of drama- by Norma

There are countless articles online about the drama triangle that are from therapists.  I know they will be able to explain it better than I can. have provided links to a couple of sources.  It is called the Karpman Drama Triangle if you would like to research it more.

The Three Faces of Victim- by Lynne Forrest

Therapy Ideas- Rhoda Mills Sommer