I sat in my bed tears pouring down my face when I first heard of her death.  It is amazing how quickly the brain tries to protect itself from hard information.   I felt panic, but the first thing I did was check the news.  Just like that, I fell into denial.  This could not be happening.  When the news had no report next I went to Facebook.  (Don’t ask me why.  In desperation, I wanted to see a post saying that it didn’t happen, that she did not take her life.  I loved her so much.

Did she know that I loved her?  Had I told her how much I cared? What could I have done?  How did I not know how much she was suffering?  Wait….I did know.  My heart sunk into my chest as the tears continued to fall.  I knew she was suffering, her circumstances were such that any mother in her situation would be suffering and my heart hurt for her.  I had been to dinner with her a little less than a year ago.   We had talked about her kids being gone, we had talked about the struggles of blending a new family.  I knew she was suffering and I had been there for her.  I tried to reach, but she isolated and that kept her at a distance.

I could not quit thinking about her precious children.  I began to pray.  “Heavenly Father, what can I do for her children.  What can I give to them so that they know how much they were loved by their mother.”  Feeling discouraged and so sad I continued to cry.  Then as quick as lightning a thought was given to me by the Spirit of God.  In that moment I knew that I needed to gather her clothing and make quilts for her children.  My mind did not waiver.

Problem #1

The first problem that I faced was that I don’t know how to quilt.  I have helped my mother tie quilts, and years ago I made a rag quilt, but quilting, real quilting with fabric pieces, NO IDEA how to do that.  Yet, my mind did not waiver.  I was on a mission for these precious children.  I called both my mother in law and my Relief Society President.  I told them the situation and asked them if they knew of anyone who might be willing to help me.   After asking others that I attend church with I got a few names but felt prompted to call one specifically.  I sent her a text and told her the situation.  She gladly said that she would help me and I could not stop crying.  It meant so much to me that someone would give me their time and their energy so that I could follow through with what I was asked to accomplish.  My heart was so full. God had asked me to do something that was far beyond what I was capable of, but he provided a way.

Problem #2

I needed to approach my friend’s grieving mother for clothing.  I kept having an overwhelming feeling that I needed to ask for the clothing quickly.  The viewing was on a Sunday night with a funeral on the following Monday.  How was I going to make this request in a sensitive manner?  She had just passed.  Over and over again I knew that I needed to ask quickly.  I began a prayer. “Heavenly Father, if I am supposed to get the clothing prompt me when I should ask so that I am being sensitive to the needs of the family.  As I was walking through the line at the viewing I was able to easily approach my friend’s mother and she said she would save some for me.  She asked me to call her the next week.

Problem #3

Some of the clothing I was able to gather will work well for a quilt, and other fabric won’t, so I decided I would need to buy some matching fabric to be able to finish the quilt.  I would not consider myself great when it comes to matching fabric.  At Thanksgiving time I decided to hit JoAnn’s fabric and get some of the material on sale.  I was in the store for almost 2 hours and I was really struggling with knowing what fabric would work well.  I looked down at my watch and realized I was out of time.  I stopped and said a quick prayer, “Heavenly Father, please help me pick the fabric that will work together for this quilt, it is really important to me,”  Within the next 5 minutes I had picked out the other 3 fabrics that I needed.

God Will Provide

I have been amazed at how God has provided for me.  He asked me to do something that I did not know how to do, but he provided a way for me to do this.  It all started with an idea from the Holy Ghost(Spirit) to make the quilts, to the timing on when I should ask for the clothes, to who could help me, and down to the smallest detail of which fabric I could use.  This was such a testimony builder for me that if I obediently try to do what God asks of me he will provide a way.

When we are willing to follow God’s lead, and we bravely move forward despite our own inability to accomplish what he asks.  He will provide a way for me and for you.

Sending Love,