Path to the Heart

This world is full of broken hearts, during the course of your life you will have one or many.  It is unavoidable.  Either we put our hearts out into the world to be broken, or we seal them up behind walls of stone and they still break.  Each individual will experience heartbreak for various reasons that are distinct and individual.  What breaks one heart will not harm another the reasons are varied.  We do know that a break may be followed by intense feelings of loss and depression.  Some experience chest pain and stomach aches, while others overeat to numb…

Unspoken Rules

Does your family have any unspoken rules, also referred to as implicit rules?   I know, sometimes it is hard to answer that question because the rules themselves hide in the shadows.  We can think of the spoken rules that our parents had, maybe a curfew time of midnight, or the rule of having the chores done before dad got home from work.  Unspoken rules are different, they have never been talked about or explained yet there is an expectation that you will follow them.  Often times when they are not followed there are harsh consequences.  This is very confusing to…

You Hold the Key & the Magic, to Your Healing

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. I can’t tell you the number of times I have looked at this scripture and wondered if it applied to me.  In 2013 when life flipped upside down I was stretched farther than I had the strength to bear.  I would fall to my knees begging and pleading…

Do You Have Trauma?

“He did this to me.”  Even saying those words sucks the air out of the room.  My breathing becomes labored and my heart rate increases.  Sometimes I think back on the memories and I have to ask myself, “Did that really happen to me?”   It seems so unreal.  I can push the horrible memories away so that I can function.  I can hold down a successful career, I can take care of my children.  The days can run fairly normal despite the traumatic history. But Why? The human mind is resilient and powerful.  It has an amazing way of protecting…

Am I Beautiful?

Most of my life I have been on a quest to answer a question, AM I BEAUTIFUL? As a little girl, in about 5th grade I started to see other girls for the first time as my competition.  I quickly started to see the world in a different light.  Instead of being the carefree child I once was who didn’t care if my hair was brushed I started to wonder if boys could like me.  I paid close attention and noticed that they liked some of the girls a lot and others they didn’t seem to even notice.  What was…

Should I Tell The Truth When I Know It Will Hurt Someone?

Truth can be tricky, especially when we know it will hurt someone. I recently had an experience where I shared the truth with some people and I knew it would hurt them. I reiterated over and over that the information that I was going to give them would be hard to hear, and that in no way was I trying to hurt them. I respect them and I didn’t want them to continue to be lied to, but I knew hearing the truth would be painful. I knew they wouldn’t take the information well, after all someone they care about…

Forgotten on Christmas

I knew he was mad at me, after all I had made the biggest mistake of my life.  His silence was painful, day after day leading up to Christmas …..life was empty, no adult voices.   Messages of how worthless I was to him and how much he despised me filled the quiet rooms.  I was hurting deeper than I had ever hurt before and I felt so helpless.  I tried to apologize, I tried to serve him, but nothing I could say or do could fix this.  I was so alone. It was Christmas day 2007, we had come down…

Christmas Giveaway 2016

Rules:  You can enter as many times as you would like over the next 5 weeks.  One winner will be chosen and announced every Sunday. The final winner will be announced on Christmas. To Enter:   Follow me on Facebook or Instagram or both @rootstoholdme, Tag a friend and myself in the contest post to get an entry.  Each person you tag gets you another entry.  You can also enter by commenting on the blog. Let me know you want to be entered. Please follow and like us:0

To Heal I Must Access the Wounds that are Under my Armor

I wake up every morning and I am tired.  Tired of fighting my war.  The battlefield is right in front of me.  Countless foes…. some I know and others that are new to me.  Some completely unknown…..they hide in the shadows waiting to attack when I am at my weakest.  The end of the war seems so distant and impossible.  I wonder if I even have a chance of winning. I feel safe, at least I have my armor, but I get conflicting messages from therapists and healthy friends that say in order to win this war I am going…

Betrayed Women & What We Need From The New Men in Our Lives

“A wounded woman in trauma is like a lion who has been backed in the corner.  When she is triggered she will come out with all shes got to save herself.” ~Norma Zaugg  rootstoholdme.com It takes an amazing man to see a wounded woman and take her in and choose to love her.  It will be one of the most difficult things that you do, but the rewards are great and they can be endless. This post is for all you men out there that are married to women who have been deeply wounded by betrayal. I think any woman…