Path to the Heart

This world is full of broken hearts, during the course of your life you will have one or many.  It is unavoidable.  Either we put our hearts out into the world to be broken, or we seal them up behind walls of stone and they still break.  Each individual will experience heartbreak for various reasons that are distinct and individual.  What breaks one heart will not harm another the reasons are varied.  We do know that a break may be followed by intense feelings of loss and depression.  Some experience chest pain and stomach aches, while others overeat to numb…

Fighting Through Triggers

I knew the date to sign up was quickly approaching.  As it neared I wondered each day if I could do it.  Could I fight through the triggers of my past in order to put in the hours I would need to train?  I went back and forth.  Worried that if I didn’t sign up I would have to admit that the triggers of my past still have a HUGE hold on me, and worried that if I did sign up I might be wasting $100, and finances are tight. As the new year hit, I knew that I needed…

Zig Zag Down the Trail

It had been raining all morning.  I had planned a Mt. bike ride with my son, but knowing that the trails would be muddy set me on a different course.  Swimming didn’t sound fun in the rain, then my husband reminded me that I could go to the gym to get my workout in.  Can I just say that I hate the gym for multiple reasons.  Running or biking in place bores me to death, and the air, don’t get me even started on the thick stifling air.  On top of all of that gyms are so triggering for me…

Blown About Like The Sand in a Breeze

Trauma came and swept me off my feet, unexpectedly I was falling…falling.  That’s how it works, it provides no notice.   I was blindsided.  In slow motion…unable to catch myself.  Dropping slowly through time and as parts of me landed, I was scattered into tiny particles of sand.   I was no longer myself, moved about and blown this way and that way by the smallest breeze. I wanted to gather myself together, but how do you gather so many pieces when they are floating away in all different directions. I wanted be whole again.  THEN REALITY HIT.  I might never…

Am I Beautiful?

Most of my life I have been on a quest to answer a question, AM I BEAUTIFUL? As a little girl, in about 5th grade I started to see other girls for the first time as my competition.  I quickly started to see the world in a different light.  Instead of being the carefree child I once was who didn’t care if my hair was brushed I started to wonder if boys could like me.  I paid close attention and noticed that they liked some of the girls a lot and others they didn’t seem to even notice.  What was…