Temple Marriage= Fear and Panic

Temple Marriage= Fear and Panic

The flood of tears that occured when I filed for a temple divorce in 2014 could have filled the bathtub a dozen times.   I didn’t want a divorce, but felt deeply prompted that keeping the union between my first husband and myself wasn’t going to do either...
Having the Courage to Become What I Want to Be

Having the Courage to Become What I Want to Be

Having the Courage to Become What I Want to Be “It is time for a change, and you love color,” she said.I wanted to listen to her because what she spoke was truth. I do love color, and yet there was a piece inside of me that hesitated. My mind filled with questions....

God Will Provide the Way

I sat in my bed tears pouring down my face when I first heard of her death.  It is amazing how quickly the brain tries to protect itself from hard information.   I felt panic, but the first thing I did was check the news.  Just like that, I fell into denial.  This...

Why Doesn’t She Just Leave?

“She stays with an abuser,” said of the voice on the other end of the line.   As if her worth, or her ability to care about others and love people was associated with her situation. It is easy to place judgement and to believe that the person in an abusive situation...
Stolen the Heart from Inside you

Stolen the Heart from Inside you

I sat up in bed, my hair frizzy, my back hurting.  I leaned forward to stretch and listened for the sound of my little boys.  Just to remember that they are with their dad for fall break.  I reached over and grabbed my phone.  A text message from a friend, I smiled...
Path to the Heart

Path to the Heart

This world is full of broken hearts, during the course of your life you will have one or many.  It is unavoidable.  Either we put our hearts out into the world to be broken, or we seal them up behind walls of stone and they still break.  Each individual will...
Do you ever feel like you are drowning?

Do you ever feel like you are drowning?

I can’t feel the bottom, I have no idea how deep the water is.  My chest constricts making it difficult to breathe.  I flip over on my back and reach my lips towards the sky above me to get more air.  I feel like I am suffocating.  I talk to myself, “you...
Fighting Through Triggers

Fighting Through Triggers

I knew the date to sign up was quickly approaching.  As it neared I wondered each day if I could do it.  Could I fight through the triggers of my past in order to put in the hours I would need to train?  I went back and forth.  Worried that if I didn’t sign up I...
Never Ending Opportunities for Comparing

Never Ending Opportunities for Comparing

For the past two and a half weeks I get up early and I head out to exercise.  I wish I could say that I have such a love for it that I was doing this because I wanted to, but that would be a lie.  I set a goal for myself to finish another triathlon and the date is...
Zig Zag Down the Trail

Zig Zag Down the Trail

It had been raining all morning.  I had planned a Mt. bike ride with my son, but knowing that the trails would be muddy set me on a different course.  Swimming didn’t sound fun in the rain, then my husband reminded me that I could go to the gym to get my workout...

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